Before my 80-year-old neighbor, Phyllis, moved into a home, she gave all of her plants to neighbors and friends. Ol’ Phyllis had obviously done that 5thgrade science thing where you stick an avocado pit in a glass of water then replant it when its roots start to grow. What she handed me looked like Charlie Brown’s Christmas tree: a bent-over …
Hope vs. False Expectations
What’s the difference between hope and false expectations? How do we know when to hope for the best and when we’re deluding ourselves? In each case, we’re throwing ourselves open to faith, to things we can’t control or predict. Is there such a thing as healthy and unhealthy hope, and if so, where’s the line? On the one hand, I’ve often found the …
To Trust or Not to Trust?
Trust is a tricky issue. If we trust too much, we could get burned. If we don’t trust enough, we could miss out – on important connections, lessons, and relationships. So how do we know when to open up and let down our guard and when to keep the protective walls up? You might ask, “What if my head answers that question one …
When Your Faith Goes Postal
Have you ever met an earth angel–a regular person in an everyday place who says something deeply profound at just the moment you need to hear it most? Yesterday, my local post office clerk was that angel. “Keep your fingers crossed for me, Roy,” I said, handing him my book in an envelope addressed to a screenplay reviewer in L.A. …
Ready for Love
A few weeks ago, I got a fabulous invitation to spend the winter holidays in Sicily with an Italian hottie I met there last fall. As I was mulling over his offer, I got a very direct gut answer: “No. It’s time to meet the One.” Although it’s tempting to run off to Italy and play, I’m very clear: No …
Not This Time, Brutus: Preventing Betrayal
“Et tu, Brute?” says a startled Julius Caesar in the Shakespeare tragedy, as he dies on the point of his closest friend’s sword. While most modern day betrayals are not as dramatic as getting run through by a sword, many of us have felt the pain of getting stabbed in the back. Many betrayals take place in romantic relationships, such as …
Get Real
Why is it so hard for us to tell people our real feelings? Whether we’re in a work setting, personal relationship, or family scenario, why are we so hesitant to be honest in the moment to someone’s face? Are we afraid to hurt their feelings, afraid of confrontation, not sure what to say, or afraid to say something we might …
Cool Your Jets: Slowing Down in Love and Life
My upstairs neighbor has a theory. “If you find someone you really like, you should wait 30 days before sleeping with them,” she told me over my kitchen table. “It worked for me and my husband.” I don’t know that I agree we need to wait a month before sleeping with someone. (In fact, I like to kiss a …
Drawing – and Moving – the Line
As I’ve been constantly accosted by Italian men on this trip, one of the major lessons I’ve been experimenting with is personal boundaries. On the one hand, arriving to this passionate country as a typical uptight American, product of the Puritan heritage, I knew that I had to lighten up and relax. On the other hand, I know that I …